A cool story that I hope gets read atleast once
One of the abc's of Christianity is God's unconditional, boundless, in-exhaustible love. Along with this love comes a never-ending supply of grace. Grace is simultaneously the easiest and hardest thing in the world for me to accept. Easiest, because by definition it is given, not earned. Hardest because it's just so... so...
well, here:
Saturday I was looking at my sin, and the fact that I sin over and over again. And when I sin, it is in the full knowledge that "I am now going to disobey God's command and rebel." I willfully choose to believe the lies of Satan over the truth of God. After seeing the odiousness of my sin, and knowing it was not close to the full extent of it, I questioned God. I doubted that his love could cover it. I told him, 'If you could forgive me, you really are God. I mean, only infinite grace could cover my sins.' But I still doubted it was forgiven. Maybe justified... but... forgiven?? Restored?? Loved??
Saturday, I graded papers like crazy but at 7:30 I was going to go to my friend Hien's house to watch The Two Towers. This struggle (what I knew to be true about God vs. what I felt was true) came to a climax as I pulled into the driveway of her apartment. I sat in my car, and told God that I would believe his grace, but that I wanted to see it played out in a tangible way. I wanted to see that God's grace wasn't just a change of mind, but something that occurs in reality, externally to me, which operates ON me. But after sitting in the car for a few minutes I said, "I got to put this on hold, my friend is going to wonder what I am still doing out here. I will believe you, but please demonstrate to me that your grace is real and this isn't just going on in my head." So we all had dinner, and started watching the movie.
2/3 of the way through the movie I heard a low rumble outside and thought the shades were tinted a little redder than normal. I got up and peered between the shades: lo and behold, my car was about to get towed! I dashed madly outside, ran down the stairs and futily attempted to argue with the guy as to why he shouldn't tow my car. After several minutes of Aristotelian rhetoric and flawless logic (props to Logos) he still wasn't budging an inch. My car was as good as towed.
And then the lesson in grace began. Hien came down the stairs and spoke I think, 2 or 3 sentences to him. I saw the guys face; it immediately softened, and the impossible happened: he let me go. He went from a hardened "So sad buddy, I'm towing you" to "I'll let it go this time." I was dumbstruck.
So, I found a place in a nearby neighborhood that I thought looked safe and legal, and walked back. But I saw the tow-truck waiting, and drive off as I got back to the apartment. The rest of the movie, thoughts were going through my head like "what if the tow-trucker man is gonna look for me where I parked, and tow me anyway?" Etc. Stupid, stupid thoughts. I still didn't think my car would be safe. But when it was all said and done, my friend drove me to my car and it was just fine.
I wonder if this was a microcosmic analogy to my entire life:
Sin. [Park illegally.]
Consequences. [Tow truck man gonna tow me.]
Try to prove my innocence and justify myself. [syllogisms. reductios. you name it...]
Doesn't work. [He's still gonna tow me.]
Apparent doom ["uh oh"]
Jesus. [Friend steps in.]
Forgiveness. ["I'll let it go this time"]
Doubt forgiveness. ["Darn guy... bet he'll look for me and tow me anyway."]
Forgiveness. [Car is still there.]
The analogy breaks down in many places but the whole situation had a big impact on me. Sometimes God loves us through our brothers and sisters in Christ, that is how he showes us grace. In this case it was my friend going to bat for me. It was a really direct answer to my prayer, and it taught me something important about His love.
well, here:
Saturday I was looking at my sin, and the fact that I sin over and over again. And when I sin, it is in the full knowledge that "I am now going to disobey God's command and rebel." I willfully choose to believe the lies of Satan over the truth of God. After seeing the odiousness of my sin, and knowing it was not close to the full extent of it, I questioned God. I doubted that his love could cover it. I told him, 'If you could forgive me, you really are God. I mean, only infinite grace could cover my sins.' But I still doubted it was forgiven. Maybe justified... but... forgiven?? Restored?? Loved??
Saturday, I graded papers like crazy but at 7:30 I was going to go to my friend Hien's house to watch The Two Towers. This struggle (what I knew to be true about God vs. what I felt was true) came to a climax as I pulled into the driveway of her apartment. I sat in my car, and told God that I would believe his grace, but that I wanted to see it played out in a tangible way. I wanted to see that God's grace wasn't just a change of mind, but something that occurs in reality, externally to me, which operates ON me. But after sitting in the car for a few minutes I said, "I got to put this on hold, my friend is going to wonder what I am still doing out here. I will believe you, but please demonstrate to me that your grace is real and this isn't just going on in my head." So we all had dinner, and started watching the movie.
2/3 of the way through the movie I heard a low rumble outside and thought the shades were tinted a little redder than normal. I got up and peered between the shades: lo and behold, my car was about to get towed! I dashed madly outside, ran down the stairs and futily attempted to argue with the guy as to why he shouldn't tow my car. After several minutes of Aristotelian rhetoric and flawless logic (props to Logos) he still wasn't budging an inch. My car was as good as towed.
And then the lesson in grace began. Hien came down the stairs and spoke I think, 2 or 3 sentences to him. I saw the guys face; it immediately softened, and the impossible happened: he let me go. He went from a hardened "So sad buddy, I'm towing you" to "I'll let it go this time." I was dumbstruck.
So, I found a place in a nearby neighborhood that I thought looked safe and legal, and walked back. But I saw the tow-truck waiting, and drive off as I got back to the apartment. The rest of the movie, thoughts were going through my head like "what if the tow-trucker man is gonna look for me where I parked, and tow me anyway?" Etc. Stupid, stupid thoughts. I still didn't think my car would be safe. But when it was all said and done, my friend drove me to my car and it was just fine.
I wonder if this was a microcosmic analogy to my entire life:
Sin. [Park illegally.]
Consequences. [Tow truck man gonna tow me.]
Try to prove my innocence and justify myself. [syllogisms. reductios. you name it...]
Doesn't work. [He's still gonna tow me.]
Apparent doom ["uh oh"]
Jesus. [Friend steps in.]
Forgiveness. ["I'll let it go this time"]
Doubt forgiveness. ["Darn guy... bet he'll look for me and tow me anyway."]
Forgiveness. [Car is still there.]
The analogy breaks down in many places but the whole situation had a big impact on me. Sometimes God loves us through our brothers and sisters in Christ, that is how he showes us grace. In this case it was my friend going to bat for me. It was a really direct answer to my prayer, and it taught me something important about His love.
posted by tmm at
2:14 PM
5 Comments:
I think this is exactly what I needed to hear today. It's so odd how we justify both our guilt and the excuse of why: I was stupid, therefore I don't deserve grace, therefore I will prove I am not stupid so that I will be able to accept grace. Like that works.
Rad.
It is amazing.
Thank Katie Andy and Colleen for reading for reading, it was a long post. And yeah Katie, it is ironic, but that seems to be the way we operate a lot of the time
Tim,
I am glad that you have posted this story. It is always amazing to see God's hand at work, even though He is always working. How easily blinded we are by our own selfish desires. In your blog it was as though God worked in highlighted fashion to show His child that He cares.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home