Bittersweet Symphony
What is it about seeing people for the last time that seems so... surreal? Most of the time you are around each other and you take it for granted. Until it sinks in that you are 99.999% likely to never, ever, ever see each other again. And all you can think of saying is, "bye have a nice... uh… life?" There's something inside me that screams no to this, every single time.Today ICF wrapped up the year with a barbeque, where we played volleyball, ate food, frisbee’d, and hung out. Also, today my Chinese class ended, and we all ate at lunch together at “The Big Bowl" where we ordered our food in Chinese (couldn't even do that right).
Dispense with the niceties, Marston, get to the point
My dear friends... I love them so much but so many of them do not know Jesus. I ache selfishly because I am never going to see them again. But if they do not know Jesus, I don't even have the comfort I have with my brothers and sisters in Christ that parting is not eternal. Some of them I have told the gospel of Jesus Christ to very clearly, and some of them are going to Bible studies with Ed and Ellen. But with some of them, especially in my Chinese class friends (my fantastic professor, my friends Eduardo, and Minjoo, Jack and Alice, Sachie, Tony, and too many more to list) there were many times when I knew I was a coward and I should have spoken up about how wonderful Christ is, and how much we need him. But I just shut up because I was afraid of that awkward silence that always seems to follow when you mention Jesus' name. Besides that, I'm not always a great ambassador for Christ. I'm often loud and obnoxious and only think about myself.
May the merciful God forgive not just me my cowardice, but forgive them my cowardice as well and not hold my sin and self centeredness against them, precious friends, but use better men to show them His grace, and love them into the Kingdom.
posted by tmm at
7:47 PM
2 Comments:
As the school year ends here too, and I see other English Majors and Professors, I too become sad. I worry for the people who are lost, and for the people who are not strong, and I am leaving them all. But God knows that I am leaving and I pray that he brings others into their lives to be more bold than I was, or to pick up where I left off.
Oh how easily encumbered by the things that do not matter that we so easily forget our mission as a Christian, to stand as a light in this dying world. I hear your pains. I feel as though the few times I am able to present the gospel, are far exceeded by the times I neglect to say something out of fear. I understand the dilemma, and in my own life my problem from being the witness I ought is out of a neglect to relinquish control, lack of faith. Thanks for the post it was a blessing. Hopefully I do not take the matter light-heartedly, but rather apply such a principle.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home